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about

a tribute to a bowman, who, even he himself, was once a bowboy

dont pay seven hundred and twenty dollars for this album please, our credit score's fine
download the album here: mega.nz#!cpRBnSAb!Y4Pp11twiCFTbolLo2vhUn3A4NRetUWS_aV5YZnT5A8

album art by HadronKalido

album mastering/"crypt you suck at adding tracks to bandcamp" by JohnJRenns

no, don't even go there john i did a great job at adding tracks

dont fight in the album description you nerds

credits

released March 10, 2017

Artists who contributed to this album:

Anervaria
Bambosh
Bin
BitesizeBird
BobTheTacocat
cloudaria
cookiefonster
Cryptanark
Difarem
Double Hats Eyewear
dragonChaser
FriendlyCoy
Golden_Skylord
Gone But Not Forgotten
GoomFloops
gordian12
groeuf
HadronKalido
interrobang
Jaspy
JohnJRenns
Josh
Kal-la-kal-la
Lambda Bledsoe
loading
Makin
minish
Minkt
Ngame
Noisemaker
"Nuclear" Roxe
NyashAlex
olkiswerve
OpsCat
ost
power464646
robotheadache
Rom
Scarodactyl
Shadok123
Sian Hodgkinson
Skip
SplitSuns
Squarewave
StarlightCalliope
TirantBacon
TwinBuilder
VulkanShawl
wank "_" wank
WHATISLOSTINTHEMINES
wheals
william_
XenoZane
yazshu

tags

license

about

cool and new music team Oak Ridge, Tennessee

we are cool and new

its like homstuck but better

contact / help

Contact cool and new music team

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Track Name: lore 2: the revengning
Narrator:
It is March, 2017—nearly six months since Bowman was shot and killed.
For six months, his brothaaaaaa Scott Stutzman quested valiantly, searching far and wide for any means to revive his a-a-a-a-awesome companion.

Then, deep in the heart of Detroit, the pasta city, a mysterious cl”o”aked figure gifted Stutzman the knowledge necessary to bring back the dead.
He makes his way now to the top of Mt. Buttocks, to place Bowman’s corpse on your bed.

Stutzman:
I don’t know how much longer I can carry on with this rotting corpse hanging over my shoulder, but I will do it or my name isn’t Constable Governor Sam Houston. I will carry Bowman’s body to his big Bowman bed in ten minutes, and then he will return to life by gum. Whoopee! Whoopee!

Narrator:
He arrived at the fabled peak, the wind billowing against his rippling belly.

Stutzman:
Hands on your head! Body on your bed!
Bed safe… bed warm… bed knows…

Wait a minute. What’s happening?
Is this really...Is this really—it is! Boo boo, here come da ghoooost!

Bowman:
Bowman!
Track Name: Bad Credit
THE PLACE WAS GENSOKYO, THE YEAR WAS 19720

I'm thinking of a number that is between my buttocks
And that number's not between 450 and 850
With nothing but greed capturing my heart
Will no one just go reach inside, cast away my bad score

Missing and unfound, undefined fantastic score
Can't reach this debtful soul, my subterranean fruity pebble
Seven hundred twenty desires denied by
The embodiment of the demonic Stutzbow

Reptile masquerade from the one debts left unpaid
An impossible ball catch, one hundred percent delayed
An immaterial coat missing on this freezing soul
The imperishable rice challenging my sinful hopes
I must keep escaping far from this perfect blosssomed yard
Its phantasmagoric view of penumbral small white hounds
Scarlet rhapsody police, running rotten to the core
I won't let them or the Stutzbow destroy my credit score

Bumper to bumper I flee, from the brothers that believe
That my sinful soul can solve the pasta's antinomy
Through idioms japanese, untranslatable I feel
The Stutzbow will never stop, chasing me with endless glee
Meme numbers won't appear, not a miracle, just fright
As I near my final fate, my endless numeric night
Texas history forlorn, in limbo its long lost lore
In this realm never forgiven, not my bad credit score

I'm thinking of a number that is between my buttocks
And that number's not between 450 and 850
With nothing but greed capturing my heart
Will no one just go reach inside, cast away my bad score

Missing and unfound, undefined fantastic score
Can't reach this debtful soul, my subterranean fruity pebble
Seven hundred twenty desires denied by
the embodiment of the demonic Stutzbow

Reptile masquerade from the one debts left unpaid
An impossible ball catch, one hundred percent delayed
An immaterial coat missing on this freezing soul
The imperishable rice challenging my sinful hopes
I must keep escaping far from this perfect blosssomed yard
Its phantasmagoric view of penumbral small white hounds
Scarlet rhapsody police, running rotten to the core
I won't let them or the Stutzbow destroy my credit score

Life insurance I can't pay, or a good bed to hide in
Is there no place to run to, a safe haven for my sins
Desperation swallows me, I feel wholly unprepared
From the Bowman I can't flee, from the Stutzman mercy's rare
Soon the brothers will catch up, meat cubes rising in the night
Their goal easy to discern, start an unwinnable fight
My bad credit and my life, forfeit to their endless war
A war started with a thought, thinking of a credit score
Track Name: BowmaniASMR [Roleplay] [Intentional] [Part One]
This isn’t canon to Bowmania lore.
It’s not lore you dunkass.

Bowman: Hello there, and welcome to the ASMR Factory. My name is Michael Guy Bowman, and I’ll be your guide as you explore the exciting world of Autonomonasty Senserational Meridisick Repose. Now I know what you're thinking: Mr. Bowman, can you tell us about the ASMR Factory? Why, of course, child. I’ve brought a few of my friends to help you experience Maximum Tingles, and we’ll be taking you through a wide variety of different triggers. All in all we’ve got lots of fun prepared for you today, so just sit back, relax, and let the tingles help you drift away…

Fred: Hi, I’m Fred.
Marvin: And I’m Marvin, Fred’s brother.
Both: And we’re…. Brotheeeeeeeeeeeeeeers.
Fred: You’re listening to Bumper to Tingles, and we’ve got a great show for you today.
Marvin: Fred, when you’re right, you’re right. I happen to be eating soup, but for you, I’ll keep going.
Fred: And that’s our show. Thanks for tuning in, everybody.

(I got it)x8

Good Cop: Well, here we are again, Sullivan. You had the gall to come to me, in my ASMR Factory and expect to get off easy. Well, it’s not gonna happen, Sullivan, I can tell you that much.

Good Cop: But listen here, Sullivan. I can still cut you a deal. I could cut you a deal, if you were talking to me. But you’re not talking to me, Sullivan. You’re just sitting there, with a glazed look on your face, trapped in some sort of tingle-induced coma. And I don’t like that, Sullivan. You want to know why I don’t like that?

Good Cop: Because I could be at home right now. I could be eating a little bag of Japanese candies that I ordered from Amazon. I could be running a rake through a miniature zen garden. I could be opening up a brand new packet of Floam, and letting the individual Floam pellets run through my fingers and squish together in a Floamy coalescence.

Good Cop: I could be giving myself a haircut right now, filling up both of my ear canals with shaving cream, Sullivan. I could be doing that right now. I could be performing unlicensed cranial nerve exams on various household animals. I could be developing a new form of communication based on chewing cubes of raw meat at varying intensities. I could be going to see my mother with a book of pressed butterflies, Sullivan. Page after page of cold, dead insects, Sullivan.

Good Cop: I could be reading through old dream diaries, crying over nightmares I had when I was just a boy, because I’m willing to do anything, including reliving the unending horror that was my childhood, to distract myself from my crippling addiction to ASMR. I’ve had it up to here with how much I ASMR, Sullivan! I need hobbies to distract myself from it. I’ve had it up to here with you, and that glazed look on your face, and our mutual addiction to ASMR, Sullivan.

Good Cop: So you know what? I could make a deal with ya’, Sullivan. I could work something out. You, me, and my 3Dio microphone, Sullivan. We could work out a deal with the tingles. You, me, a makeshift greenscreen, Sony Vegas Pro Movie Studio 14, and a crisp unopened bag of ionized crystals - all of these things and more, Sullivan.

Good Cop: That doesn’t seem to have swayed you, huh? Well, you’ve left me no choice, Sullivan. I guess you’re gonna have to deal with my partner. Remember him, Sullivan?

[Screaming]

RED STUFF.

Bowman: The ASMR will return after these short messages.
Track Name: BowmaniASMR [Roleplay] [Intentional] [Part Two]
Radiation: The talents of Pablo Picasso in his prime...

Radiation: Oh, I didn’t see you there. It’s me, Toby “Radiation” Fox, and I want to talk to you about the coolest and newest fandom on the internet.

Radiation: What, you come in here to get some tingles? People on Bandcamp will listen to anything! OHH! OHH! OHH! OHH!

Radiation: What fandom is it you may ask? Well, it’s only for the best game ever made. You see, narratively, this game is a paragon of interactive storytelling. Every choice you make weighs on your conscience because every connection you make with the characters feels organic.

Radiation: Even the Pope agrees with me. In fact, he gave my game a 36 out of 5. Why, percentage wise, that’d be…

(720%)x4

Radiation: How cool. How new. Buy it.

(The second age of steam)x5

Texan: Hello and welcome to your Texas History Virtual Textbook Laserdisk. The subject of this lesson is DENTAL RECORDS.

Texan: As you can see here, I’ve got two full sets of human teeth outside my skull and inside this plastic canister. We’ve got a solid set of bicuspids today, and there will be plenty to be gleaned from such a pristine sample. It’s a little known fact that God made man to eat leafy shit, hence the shape of your teeth. Also today’s recipe.

Now I’ll proceed to the latter part of the lesson, in which I take the Texas Burger Bonanza Challenge, and eat 2.5 cheeseburgers in just under five seconds.

(Pokemon)(Go to the polls)x4

Bowman: Are you enjoying the tour of the facility? Excellent, excellent. Though, I must admit I've not been entirely straightforward with my intentions. For you see, YOU’VE FALLEN INTO MY ASMR TRAP. IT WAS ALL ACCORDING TO KEIKAKU.

(Keikaku means plan)

Bowman: Now, I will use my ASMR powers to open up a Patreon, and I’ll never have to make another commission again.

Good Cop: Hold it right there, Bowman.

Bowman: What? You’re not supposed to be here. Get back to the factory!

Marvin: No. We’re not gonna take this anymore.

Bowman: Treachery! Is no one loyal?

Texan: Looks like I’m about to get some new teeth for my collection!

Bowman: Somebody! TREASON! MURDER! HELP!!!

Toby: But nobody came.

Various: I get it. \ That was pretty good! \ Is that from that furry game? \ Really? \ >_>

Marvin: Take this!

Worker: You’re backyard done.

Bowman: Hi-ya! Take this! How about this?

Worker: You’re just like my dad!

Bowman: You’re gonna have to try harder than that!

Worker: No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Worker: I’m gonna serve you for 32 days, and then you’re gonna die.

Bowman: I’m gonna hit you with an open G so heavy it’s going to resonate your whole atomic structure.

Worker: That really makes me tick!

Bowman: This is like the Olympics of stupid.

Worker: Have you ever been punched in the face? Well, you’re about to.

Bowman: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Bowman: Ow Ow OW Oooh Eeeh Eeeh DEATH

Worker: We did it!.

Worker: Guys... let’s go home.

Evil laughter fades in.

Bowman: Those fools really thought they could defeat me. Little do they know, that I’m already 200 pages into my next novel: Pounded In The Butt By Angry ASMR Factory Workers!

Chuck: But as soon as that’s finished, I’ll get my revenge. Oh, Bowman, they'll say. Please spare us! We just wanted the ASMR! And i’ll say… “Bowman”? There is no Bowman. There is only Chuck now. And he’s going to make you tingle.
Track Name: I'm (Not) Saying Anything
And I'm not taking anything
I'm just part of everything
'Cause everything you have is shared
As long as you don't know I'm there
And I'm not missing anything
I'm just into everything
The stuff you hide beneath the bed
I wonder what's inside your head

And I'm not sure of anything
But you, my dear, are everything
I'm gunning it inside your car
I'm pulling into the ER
And I'm not saying anything
'Cause now I'm losing everything
They load you on the stretcher now
I leave the keys and bail out
Track Name: "Libera me" from Bowman
Dental records! One-hundred per cent!
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.
Backyard fun!

How does the son of a founding father of the nation
get appointed as a governor in charge of occupation
of the Indiana territory, battle with Tecumseh
Tippecanoe, go on to become the
president in 1841. He did it for just
32 days and he was done cus he died
of pneumonia. Didn't wear no coat in the rain. Boy,
what you thinking? What's your name?

My name is Governor Fred Michael, Marvin's brother.
I will eat a series of milk jugs for commemorative purposes
and 2 or 3 maggots in the year 1917
and then I will bury you, you noodle brain!

You're gonna have to deal with my partner now.

(Libera me, Bowman
de memes æterna
in die illa tremenda. in die illa

quadringenti quinquaginta
octingenti quinquaginta
septingenti viginti.
Tremens factus sum ego et timeo,
Dum discussio venerit atque ventura ira)

Being a bird, being a bird, being a bird, nothing to do,
good day, good day, being a bird, being a bird, bird, bird, bird,
being a bird, being a bird, being a bird (BARK)
What? (BARK)
What was that? (BARK)
What was that?
Fly away, fly away, fly away, into the tree,
in the tree, in the tree, in the tree, in the tree,
in the tree, in the tree, safe!
Safe now. Safe in the tree.

(Dies illa, dies iræ,
Calamitatis et miseriæ)

Dental records! One-hundred per cent! (dies illa)
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.
Backyard fun! (dies magna)
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.

I'm thinking of a number, between (Felix natalis)
four-hundred and fifty and eight-fifty.
Do you know what it is? (Felix natalis)
It happens to be seven-hundred and twenty.
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.

Michael Bowman! (Fight the power!)

Dental records! One-hundred per cent! (Requiem æternam)
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.
Backyard fun!
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.

This number is between my buttocks. (Dona eis Bowman)
The higher this number is, (Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman)
the better chance I have at saving a lot of money
but the money is between my buttocks.
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman

Dental records! One-hundred per cent! (Requiem æternam)
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.
Backyard fun!
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.

I'm thinking this could save you a lot of money. (Dona eis Bowman)
If you reach in between my buttocks, (Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.)
you could save a lot of buttocks.
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.

Do you know what you can reach in between my buttocks to get? (Et lux perpetua luceat eis)
It's your free credit report,
and it happens to be seven-hundred and twenty.
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.

Dental records! One-hundred per cent! (Libera me, Bowman)
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.

Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman. (Libera me, Bowman)
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.

Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.
Bow, Bow, Michael Bowman.

Libera me lyrics 2.txt
Displaying Libera me lyrics 2.txt.
Track Name: Credible Bowmascore
I'm thinking of a number
between my buttocks
between my buttocks
between my number
between my, between my
tween tween buttocks

(Buttocks, Buttocks, Buttocks, Buttocks, Buttocks, Buttocks, Buttocks, between my..)
It's my credit score and it happens to be seven hundred and twenty
(Buttocks, Buttocks, Buttocks, Buttocks, Buttocks, Buttocks, Buttocks, between my..)
It's my credit score and it happens to be seven hundred and twenty
(Buttocks, Buttocks, Buttocks, Buttocks, Buttocks, Buttocks, Buttocks, between my..)
It's my credit score and it happens to be seven hundred and twenty,
seven hundred and twenty,
seven twenty

I'm thinking of a number
between my buttocks
between my buttocks
between my number
between my, between my
tween tween buttocks

I'm thinking of a number
between my buttocks

I'm thinking of a number
between my buttocks
between my buttocks
between my number
between my buttocks
Track Name: Credit Smooth
man it's a hot one
like a credit score between my buttocks
im thinking of a number between my buttocks
my free credit score
it's between my butt
my spanish harlem mona lisa
credit score is a dank meme
because it's so smooth

im thinking of a number between my buttocks
and its between four fifty eight fifty
its got the kind of credit that would save me
a lot of money
and its my free credit score between four and eight fifty hundred dollars
and it can save me a lot of cash
I'd rather be listening to
the three grammy award winning "Smooth" by santana and rob t(h)om(as)

ill tell you one thing
ive got a number thats between my butt
its between four fifty and eight fifty hundred
seven hundred twenty
have some backyard fun
with michael bowman and the stutzman too
Setsunasa ni wa namae
you just got SNOWED!!!!

i'm thinking of a number between my buttocks
between four hundred fifty and eight fifty
that number can save me a lot of money

the nut

i'm thinking of a number thats between my butt
its between four fifty and eight hundred dollars
the number that im thinking of is between my buttocks
seven hundred twenty credit score in my buttocks

I'd rather be listening to to the three Grammy award winning summer smash hit
"Smooth" by Santana featuring Rob Thomas of Matchbox Twenty
off of the multiplantinum album
I'd rather be listening to Smooth by Santana
Track Name: The CANMT
Some teams never make their own memes
never follow their dreams
really quite depressing

but my team always makes up shitposts
never falling for ghosts
our rips always impressing

Wacky warriors of the music scene,
Spending our time in C A N M T,
Living with homestuck infamy,
Hiveswap may never be released,
At least there's C A N M T

Some teams sort their songs with high bars
stupid jokes don't go far
don't find them appealing;

but my team never lets a gag die
injokes piled so high
can't even see the ceiling

If stupid music's what you want to see,
you should join with C A N M T
Our albums are all fun and free,
We even have celebrities,
come chill with C A N M T!
Track Name: rennss_credit_score.mp2
im THINKING of a radiation between my dvs saxes. do you know what it is? its my tensei, and it happens to be between my strife.

im THIIINKING of a tensei between my striife. could you guess what that is? its not radiation, its my undertale, which you can get for 9.99 USD on steam (tm).

im THINKING of an agentparsec between my plazmataz and jit. could you ponder the answer to that? its my dragonxvi and it ALSO is between my slender the eight pages.

im THINKKING of a cave story between my earthbound. i wonder if you can guess that. it is not undertale as that is my tensei between my striife, it is actually my homestuck.

im THINKINNG of a cool and new music team between my o. could you even begin to imagine what this could be? its not my fucking homestuck, because this whole thing sucks and is not funny.

homestuck was designed by the devil to trigger the armageddon and it seems like me writing slash reading this is yet another step towards for the doomsday machine.

fucking die in a pit fall if you find this stupid bullshit "entertaining"