The Ballad of Megan Pouring

by Gordian

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PART ONE *************** GORDIAN: Are you done with the salt shaker? GORDIAN: oh my-- you're not actually gonna eat that are you Megan? GORDIAN: Megan? *break* MEGAN: I'm almost done with it. *************** (main theme plays) -------------------- GORDIAN: Sodium chloride Sodium chloride Megan you know that stuffs not good for you MEGAN: but i love it! GORDIAN: Sodium chloride Slow form of su-i-cide And it would suck if Megan died! -------------------- MEGAN: I hate my fucking job I sell little pieces of toast They look like fucking boats That's why they're called shiptoasts -------------------- *************** NICOLE LINK: Miss Pouring, if we don't break even this month I don't see how we can make it. MEGAN: (to her) We'll make it. NICOLE: But-- MEGAN: WHAT did I say, Nicole? Now get back to work. Fuck you, Andrea Hussie. This is all your fault. You bitch. *************** -------------------- I wanted to be a princess And when I was a girl they told me that I could "As long as you try your hardest" If only I had asked 'em if I should I founded a sub for Homestuck Wish the fucking end was any good Now all I wanna do is die Someone tell me why-y-y [She hates her fucking job] -------------------- PART TWO (Doctor intro) *************** DOCTOR: Megan, this is your Doctor. The test results came back... We tried to warn you about this, you know... Anyway. We analyzed the salt content in your blood... And we've come to the conclusion that, if you don't cut down your intake... There's just no way you can survive. *************** (Doctor continues) MEGAN: someone, someone tell me when I asked for this or what my sin was to de- serve this lot in life I know I'm not the best of people but you must be- lieve me God if you are out there I can change I feel my self control my salty sinful soul in side me slip away I'll end my life to day CHORUS: oh - oh - oh - oh - oh - oh (etc) O: MY NAME IS O, DID SOMEBODY RING? FOR I AM GOD, THE LORD OF ALL, EVERY H*CKING THING GOD HEARD THY PRAY'R AND HE WILL ANSWER THEE COME HOME, MY CHILD, SING ALONG WITH US AND THEN YOU SHALL BE FREE -------------------- (spoken) Megan, listen. I'm sorry about what Hussie did to you. I want to make sure what she did never happens to anyone again. She's burning in hell as we speak, being forced to make a video game that will never be completed. If you come with me and ost back to heaven, we can all make high quality rips for eternity. And Megan - will you marry me? MEGAN: Yes! I will! -------------------- [Feel Good Inc bassline] (No way Sheen, no way Sheen, you're not as big a fan of Jimmy's dad as I am No way Sheen, no way Sheen, you're not as big a fan of Jimmy's dad as I am) -------------------- CHORUS: Cool and new web-co-mic Cool and new web-co-mic It saved the fandom and Megan too (it's true!) O: Best fanmade property MEGAN: Better than Hiveswap'll be ALL: O, and it's all because of you! GORDIAN: The music is shit and yet good too! ALL: What can we say, it's Cool and New!


The dawn of an era.



released May 2, 2017

Track by gordian (feat. Kal-la-Kal-la, and Bin)

Art by cloudaria

Contains references to:
"Doctor" by Buzinkai
"Penumbra Phantasm" by Radiation
"Bad Apple" (Bad Credit) by ZUN (Makin)
"Snow Halation" by the u person
"Unintentional Touhou" by Cryptanark
"Feel Good Inc." (Crime Sheen Inc.) (Feel (Good)) by Buy Humanz (UltraRemixerAlt2) (Makin)
"Homestuck Anthem"by Powell
"Bridal Chorus" by Richard Wagner
"Wanderlust" by Gordian




Cool and New Music Team Oak Ridge, Tennessee

we made muisc for cool and new web comic, a story based on homestuck but better

team inactive as of 7/2/21

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