[NPR Morning Edition Theme] Radio person:"Up next, Secant Soivice: Episode Three Hundred Eightteen." PSA Person: "Note all the characters portrayed are based off real people and portrayed by actors. No one was harmed in the production of this episode." Tom: "Welcome back to Sports the Network, I'm Tom" Jim: "AND IM JIM. NAK." Jim:"TOM WE'VE SEEN SOME FINE PLAY THIS SEASON BUT THIS GAME IS VERY SPECIAL INDEED." Tom: "That's Right Jim. For the first time in his term, President Obana Himself is here to watch the sports as they happen in the theater." [Crowd cheering] Agent 1: "Look, we need extra security incase he shows up. Get me that" Obana: "Don't worry about him. We can take him if he crashes the party to get to me." Agent 1: "Oh shit I have to go." Announcer: "All rise for the Land of Dollers and Danger National Anthem." [The US National Anthem Plays] [Crowd Panic] Crowd Person 1: "Oh my god it's Jhon Ebgret." Crowd Person 2: "Run for your life!" Agent 1: "President, what should we do?" Obana: "Finsish Him." [Door Creak] Announcer: "Open Fire" [Half-Life 2 Gun Sound effects] [Glass Shatter] Obana: "Don't be fooled, he will be back eventually. We have much to do, my SECANT SOIVICE." [NPR Morning Edition Theme] Tom: "What will happen next? Will Jerry admit her feelings for Obana? Will Jhon finally be brought to justice? We may only find out in the next episode of SECANT SOIVICE." Radio Person: "We now return to your regularly scheduled Cool and New Album."

Cool and New Webcomic is cool and also it’s new It’s made by some shitposter named o M S P Fan Ventures is where you can find it all at There’s another cool thing about it though A couple cool musicians made some cool music Some people heard it, said why can’t I do this Thought some more, said no reason I can’t A team where everyone has a chance Not too stuck on high quality But still lots of good work can’t you see You'll never know if you don't try You’ll make the redditstuck fans cry Well Hey, now, you're an Artist, make art for some songs Well Hey, now, you're a Composer, go make some songs Put some effort in it We can’t just put out complete shit It's a cool team and we keep getting newer The rejected songs should go in a sewer But the managers surely know the best The worst of the worst can still get on the sound test The discord list is getting pretty full But still nobody on it is too full of bull Our fan base is huge how about yours? That's the way we like it and we'll never get bored. Well Hey, now, you're an Artist, make art for some songs Well Hey, now, you're a Composer, go make some songs Put some effort in it We can’t just put out complete shit (Whistle break) Well Hey, now, you're an Artist, make art for some songs Well Hey, now, you're a Composer, go make some songs Put some effort in it We can’t just put out complete shit Somebody once asked me "Have you read Jojostuck?" I said I haven’t but that’s funny as fuck I was struck by a concept I could make a cool song out of that And suddenly I was on the team A couple cool musicians made some cool music Some people heard it, said why can’t I do this Thought some more, said no reason I can’t A team where everyone has a chance Not too stuck on high quality But still lots of good work can’t you see You'll never know if you don't try You’ll make the redditstuck fans cry Well Hey, now, you're an Artist, make art for some songs Well Hey, now, you're a Composer, go make some songs Put some effort in it We can’t just put out complete shit Put some effort in it Don’t want to repeat volume six