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Gunshow 2 Finale Part 1

from C A N W A V E 2 by Cool and New Music Team

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Poem and music by ostrichlittledungeon
Narrator voiced by Bambosh
Trump voiced by Viridian
Cain voiced by WHATISLOSTINTHEMINES
Toby voiced by XenoZane
Jhon voiced by GoomFloops

lyrics

NARRATOR
One bright summer morning, in mid-to-late June,
Our president Trump was holding a spoon.
He was eating a soup at the great dinner table,
With his fair wife Melania and his sons Cain and Abel.
Who these two children were was a mystery to them all.
They’d just shown up one day and proceeded to call
The Trump couple their parents, though odd, yes, it seems.
Their coming was foreshadowed by one of Trump’s dreams.


TRUMP
My dear children,


NARRATOR
Trump said, with a saccharine grin.


TRUMP
You seem to be getting uncommonly thin.
Please eat up your soup so your muscles get yuge,
I don’t want to resort to any food subterfuge.


CAIN
I don’t want to eat soup,

NARRATOR
Cain replied with great force.


CAIN
I’d rather eat chocolate please—make it three-course.


TRUMP
How rude of a thing to demand, I must say.


NARRATOR
Said our dear Donald Trump, though he gave the okay.
And when Cain was quite finished with stuffing his face,
He and Abel returned to their planet in space.
Once Melania had retired to her chamber upstairs,
Donald rapped on the wall in a pattern of squares.
A door opened up to a room filled with toys
(though not ones that you’d give to small girls or small boys).
On a bed in the center lay one young Toby Fox.
He looked up from his book and he tossed back his locks.


TOBY
Hello my dear Donald, how was dinner today?


TRUMP
Not great, I confess, though I do have to say
Cain’s aversion to food that would improve his health
Is disturbing to me. It’s a symptom of wealth.


TOBY
That’s very astute of you, Donald, dear sir.
I most definitely agree. I approve. I concur.
Now come take a seat here, next to me on our bed.
I’ll make you feel better by giving you head.


NARRATOR
But before Trump could take a step forward, just then,
A young boy with a rabbit interrupted their zen
As he entered the room and he pointed at Trump.


JHON
I’m redy to figt, you plump grumpy lump.


TOBY
Oh god, Andrew Hussie, what have you created?
O’s gone much too far with his SBAHJ lust unsated.
Now listen up Jhon, if you want to hurt Don,
You must go through me first. Come at me, you prawn.


TOBY
Yo my name’s Toby Fox (please don’t call me Radiation).
I created the nutshack and I made up Snow Halation.
I’ll clear one thing up now—I’m not o; I’m his ex.
But now Trump’s the only person with whom I will have sex.


I’ve dedicated my life to creating awesome tunes,
My OST is better than Earthbound’s, and Rollercoaster Tycoon’s.
Andrew’s Hussie’s little Hiveswap is nothing to my two games.
But first Undertale, then its sequel, set my world into flames.


I shed blood, sweat, and tears to make it out of depression,
And now I come back to my lover’s recession?
Donald, baby, I still love you, but a great depression? Jeez.
Anyway, I need some cash so buy my games please.


Now whether you’re gay, bi, pan, libertarian, or straight,
you should buy my games cause the shipping’s downright great.
And if you feel left out by my statement there,
Uh. You should buy them anyway. Damn, I really love Flare.


So yeah, I guess that’s me and I’m done with this rap.
I think I flowed pretty well though my transitions were crap.
I’d also like to say… uh. Let’s fight. Come on.
I won’t let anyone hurt my boyfriend, least of all a SBAHJ-y John.


JHON
Yaeh, ok.


NARRATOR
Jhon brandished his bunny at Toby, his face
As neutral as ever, as if stuck in place.
And Toby, his face pale as pale could be.
Remarked,


TOBY
I have to use the toilet. Brb.


NARRATOR
Then Jhon turned to Trump, his intentions made clear.
Trump’s skin was beet red, and his eyes filled with fear.
Jhon pulled out a space gun and covered his eyes
With a dark red headband of unusual size.
He grinned, his big buckteeth stretched out to the sides.


JHON
I’m think thats its time i change up the tides
Your a pest your a dog your a bee your a louse
I need to do Cory inside of the house


TRUMP
Oh god no, I knew this would be how it ends.
At the end of my presidency, betrayed by my friends.
Jhon please, you know me. I’m no stranger to you.


NARRATOR
But did Jhon even care?


JHON
waht do that buton do,?

credits

from C A N W A V E 2, released January 20, 2017
References:

"The Ultimate Showdown" by Neil Cicierega
"Gold Pilot" by First Turn Fold
"Fighting Spirit" by UWBW
"Flare" by Clark "Plazmataz" Powell
"RCT Title Screen" by Allister Brimble

Track art by yazshu

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Cool and New Music Team Oak Ridge, Tennessee

we made muisc for cool and new web comic, a story based on homestuck but better

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